If you can’t understand why you keep participating in destructive patterns, this work is for you. Self-sabotaging behaviors are actually attempts to meet a goal that is often hidden from the conscious mind. This work to uncover subconscious motives takes courage. It's likely though, that the fear of not changing has finally become louder than the fear of being honest with yourself. I admire your bravery and hope to do this rewarding work with you.
“Courage is not simply one of the virtues, but the form of every virtue at the testing point.” - C.S. Lewis
"Stand at the brink of the abyss of despair, and when you see that you cannot bear it anymore, draw back a little and have a cup of tea" ~Elder Sophrony of Essex